For many, Thanksgiving is painted as a day of celebration—gratitude, connection, warmth, and tradition.  But for others, it can bring a mix of emotions: pressure to feel thankful, complicated family dynamics, grief, loneliness, or discomfort with the holiday's historical context.  If this time of year feels layered for you, you’re not alone.

This Thanksgiving, instead of pressuring yourself towards “big gratitude”, consider practicing the softer and more compassionate approach of gentle gratitude that honors your real-life experience and feelings.

What is gentle gratitude?
It is the practice of noticing what feels supportive, grounding, or comforting without forcing yourself to feel grateful for things that don’t resonate.  It leaves room for heaviness and mixed emotions.

Gentle Gratitude Phrases

• “I can be thankful for small moments without pretending everything is okay.”
• “I can acknowledge what feels good and what feels hard.”
• “I do not have to feel grateful on command.”

How To Practice It

1. Acknowledge what feels good to you—praise yourself for little wins, bring attention to things that bring you joy.
2. Create boundaries to protect your energy—step out and take breaks, say no when you need to.
3. Practice grounding in the body—deep breaths, noticing your senses, mini mindfulness practices.

Whether your day is full, quiet, heavy, joyful, complicated, or something in between, you deserve moments of gentleness and peace.  So when the “say something your grateful for” starts rounding the dinner table, let yourself choose something small, something honest, or even simply the truth that you’re doing your best.

This Thursday, November 20th, we pause to honor the transgender and gender-expansive individuals whose lives have been taken due to anti-trans violence.  It is a day rooted in both grief and resilience—a moment to reflect on the reality that far too many in the community experience.  Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) is more than just a memorial; it is a call to collective responsibility.

TDOR was started in 1999 by transgender advocate Gwendolyn Ann Smith as a vigil to honor the memory of Rita Hester, a transgender woman who was killed in 1998.  The vigil commemorated all of the transgender people lost to violence since Hester’s death, and has been an annual tradition since.

How can you get involved?

• Attend or organize a vigil to honor lives lost
• Learn about the violence affecting the transgender community 
• Advocate for everyone to be safe and free to exist fully as themselves (call your politicians!)

For Those Mourning, Remembering, or Seeking Comfort:

• Connect with a trusted friend or community member
• Engage in a soothing sensory activity
• Journal about what you want to release or hold close
  
• Allow yourself rest without guilt

Daisy Counseling’s Commitment:

• Affirming and culturally responsive care
• A safe space to explore identity and lived experience
• Support that honors your autonomy
• Advocacy within and outside the therapy space

As we honor those who are no longer with us, may we also hold hope for a future where trans lives are not just remembered, but celebrated, protected, and fully supported.  May we show up with compassion, courage, and a commitment to creating safer communities.

Read more here:https://glaad.org/tdor/

I went thrifting this weekend and came across this book—Feel It: 100 Ways to Live in the Moment.  It tied in perfectly to this week’s topic so of course I bought it!  Naturally, it talks a lot about existing in the present, otherwise known as mindfulness.  Mindfulness has become this buzzword, showing up in products and trends more than day to day life.  We immediately think of yoga classes and meditation Youtube channels.  I have nothing against these forms of mindfulness, but for my ADHD brain, they just don’t work!  So here is a list of some more neurodivergent-friendly options:

1. Music Immersion: Pick a song and listen to it over and over again—during each listen, try to pick out a different piece of the song, such as percussion, base, vocals, etc.
2. ​Color Hunt: Grab some paint samples from a hardware store and go on a walk to match various nature items to your colors.
3. Sound Sorting: Inside or outside, sit and see how many different sounds you can identify—birds chirping, plane taking off, background conversations, appliances running.
4. Temperature Switch-Up: Inhale a warm smell (cocoa or cinnamon), and then a cool one (mint or eucalyptus).  Notice the difference in your body between the two!  You can also try this one with taste, switching between spicy to cold foods.
5. Water Break: Or as I called it when I was a kid, “playing cups”!  Set up in the sink with various cup and bowl sizes.  Dump water from place to place, feeling it rinse across your hands.

Mindfulness isn’t about perfection or constant calm, it’s about awareness.  When your mind wanders, acknowledge it and gently bring it back.  Each time you do, you are strengthening that muscle.  No matter how mindfulness looks to you, even if it looks different than other people’s, it counts.  Everyday mindfulness is about creating small pauses to help you feel grounded in the middle of a busy life!

In honor of Daylight Savings yesterday, I figured this week's topic should be about creating new routines!  As the clocks turn back and our evenings feel longer (it is dark by like 4 pm!), many of us notice a shift.  Less energy, minimal motivation, trouble sleeping, and disrupted schedules.  Rather than trying to fight against it, I encourage you to work with it by using what is called the BACE framework for self-care: Body Care, Achievement, Connection, Enjoyment.  This model encourages the development of a well-rounded routine supporting both physical and mental wellness.  Here's what it looks like in practice:

1. Body Care: It is easy to forget that it takes time to take care of our bodies.  Think about paying more attention to sleep (especially routines around bedtime!), healthy eating, exercise, and even tasks as seemingly simple as basic hygiene.
2. Achievement: We feel good about ourselves when we have a sense of accomplishment.  This could be everything from completing work tasks to chores to tending to your garden or learning a new song on guitar.  Maybe even tackle those items that have been on your to-do list for months!
3. Connection: Set aside specific time to connect with friends, family, pets, and anyone else you care about.  It could be a text, a phone call, an email, or even face-to-face time if you are able!
4. Enjoyment: Do more things that make you feel good!  Is there an old hobby you want to revisit?  A board game you haven't played in forever?  Do something that brings you joy without feeling any obligation to be good at it or accomplish something.

As time falls back this week, allow yourself to fall forward into a routine that supports all aspects of you.  Over time, these small but consistent practices will become habit, and you will find yourself feeling better overall because you are meeting your core needs each and every day.

Extra Tip: Write it down!  Fill in a chart to help manage until it becomes automatic.  Feel free to borrow this one!

​While this experience can feel dramatic, it is our brain and body responding to normal emotional shifts, such as:

• Anticipation of work stress and responsibilities
• Transition from relaxation to structure
• Reflecting on unfinished tasks or potential challenges
• Fear of missing out on weekend activities/regret for “wasting” weekend

So how do we fix it? I wish I could say there’s one magic trick, but the Sunday Scaries are sneaky because they show up in both our minds and our nervous systems. So instead, we want to shift how we prepare for the week and how we relate to those Sunday feelings when they show up.

1. Create a Sunday Wind-Down Ritual: Instead of cramming your responsibilities into the end of the weekend, spread them out and treat Sunday evenings as a time of rest that you can look forward to.  Comfy clothes, your favorite food, and a funny tv show.  Your brain will learn that Sunday night = comfort.
2. Make A Plan: Write down three priorities for Monday–not your whole list, just what’s at the top.  When your brain sees a manageable plan, it stops trying to spiral into “what ifs”.
3. Name the Feelings: When you notice the dread start to creep through your body, identify it out loud: “This is anticipation” or “I am feeling anxious right now”.  Our feelings lose their intensity when they are acknowledged instead of avoided.

The Sunday Scaries are not a sign that something is wrong with you.  They’re a sign that your body cares about safety, predictability, and rest.  If they are feeling especially heavy or happen every week, it could also be your body’s way of signaling that something in your routine, work environment, or boundaries needs compassion and adjusting.  Pay attention to these signals and treat yourself with gentleness.

P.S. The first edition of our monthly newsletter, The Daisy Digest, launches this weekend!  If you are interested in receiving it, sign up here: https://forms.gle/VixNat1t5wXsBZKn9

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Picture this: I am sitting in church with my family and my tooth falls out.  I absolutely LOSE it, and my mom rushes me to the bathroom.  I am inconsolable despite her many negotiations, and so in all of her parenting wisdom, she directs my attention to a bouquet of flowers on the sink ledge.  She asks me to breathe them in through my nose, and then blow out an imaginary candle that she "held" in her hands and she coined the now famous term (at least in my family!) "Birthday Breaths".

Birthday Breaths are the classic "in through your nose, out through your mouth" technique, now completely revolutionized for little me.  It became the staple of every other stressful moment after that: first day of school, doctor's appointments, new job orientations, and everything in between.

​So what do these breaths have to do with Daisy Counseling?  This calming tool has been at the heart of my life, both personally in my own mental health journey and professionally as I became a therapist.  It felt only fitting for her favorite flower to become the name of my practice.

Daisies also happen to represent new beginnings, which in a lot of ways, is what therapy can be.  It's a space to explore which parts of your story you are ready to leave behind, which aspects of yourself you want to nurture, and ultimately, who you want to become.

Looking back, it's funny how a small moment taught me something so lasting.  Life is full of moments that challenge us, and sometimes the smallest tools (say, for example, Birthday Breaths!) can make all the difference.  They remind me that even in big emotions, we can find a little calm, and maybe even a new beginning.