 Adulthood is often thought of as a time of stability—career, relationships, and life routines settling into place. Yet for many, it is a period of profound identity shifts, especially during the period in which many refer to as “emerging adulthood”.
Originally coined in 2000 by psychologist Jeffrey Jensen Arnett, the term “emerging adulthood” refers to the distinct developmental stage between ages 18-29, used as a time of exploration and instability between adolescence and full adulthood, characterized by the delay of traditional milestones such as marriage and financial independence. For neurodivergent adults, identity shifts during this period can be especially pronounced. As you gain more insight into how your brain works, especially if you were diagnosed later in life, you might find yourself reconsidering how you approach relationships, work, and your social life. You may find yourself re-exploring sensory needs and discovering ways to unmask. These revelations can feel equally liberating and disorienting, especially if you have spent years conforming to neurotypical ideas. Sexuality, too, is often fluid during this period. Many use this time for experimenting and reflection on their sexual orientation, gender identity, and patterns of attraction. Embracing this fluidity involves relying on both community support and self-compassion. Arnett emphasizes that this period of time is not a crisis, but rather a normal developmental process. By acknowledging the variability of this time, we can approach with curiosity rather than fear. No matter what the shifts are related to, whether identity or sexuality or purpose, they are opportunities to live more authentically and align with our truest self.
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 Happy New Year! I hope you enjoyed any celebrations. Today’s topic is fitting to this season–Window of Tolerance. Have you ever noticed that sometimes you can handle stress well, while other times the littlest challenges feel overwhelming? Like when your shirt gets caught on a drawer and you start crying? It happens to all of us! This concept can help with understanding how your brain and body respond to stress.
The Window of Tolerance is essentially the zone in which you can manage and respond to life’s ups and downs without becoming overwhelmed. When you’re within this window, you can think clearly, make decisions, regulate emotions, and stay connected to yourself and others. Sometimes, however, stress pushes us outside this window. There are two common ways this shows up:
The Window of Tolerance can be expanded with practice. Mindfulness, grounding exercises, gentle movement, and self-compassion can help you stay within your window more often and return to it when you drift out. Ways to Notice Your Window:
By understanding your window, you can better recognize when you are exiting and take steps to bring yourself back. Try tracking how you feel over the next week to see what trends emerge!  Happy almost New Year! As the familiar urge to set goals shows up this week, I invite you to consider setting intentions instead. Traditional goals tend to be rigid and outcome-focused, often leaving us feeling like we’ve failed if we don’t meet them. Intentions offer a gentler alternative. Rather than asking, “What do I need to accomplish?” they ask, “How do I want to care for myself or show up?” One helpful (and fun!) way to work with intentions is through bingo boards or punch cards. These tools provide a visual, engaging way to track progress and celebrate effort at any level—without framing unfinished items as failure. Below are a few examples to get you started. When paired with playful tools like these, intentions create space for a softer definition of progress. The focus shifts from proving productivity to noticing moments of care. Sometimes meaningful change isn’t about checking everything off a list—it’s about giving yourself permission to meet yourself where you are. If you try this approach, we’d love to hear how it goes! And if you’re comfortable, we may share your experience on the Daisy Counseling Instagram page. P.S. Our next monthly newsletter comes out this Thursday! If you haven’t signed up yet, you can do so here: https://forms.gle/NfeUdiM3QdMJxLpa8
 For most people, the holidays feel genuinely happy, cozy, and meaningful, and that’s a good thing! If this season brings you joy and connection, do not downplay that—soak it in and enjoy. At the same time, for others, the holidays come with a heaviness that can be hard to explain. Old memories show up, family dynamics get complicated, routines are thrown off, and there’s pressure to feel and act cheerful even when tired or hurting.
If the holidays feel hard, you are not alone. This time of year tends to magnify whatever we’re already carrying. Stress feels louder, grief feels closer, and burnout can catch up fast. If you are navigating holiday heaviness, here are a few things that may help:
The holidays don’t need to be magical to be “done right”. However you experience them is valid. Take things one day at a time!  Many of us were taught that rest is something you earn. You rest after you finish your work, after you’ve been productive, after you’ve done “enough”. Until then, pushing through is framed as strength.
But, rest was never meant to be earned—it is a basic human need. Treating it like a reward turns it into something we’re constantly withholding from ourselves, especially when life is already hard. For people navigating anxiety, depression, burnout, chronic illness, or neurodivergence, the idea that you must first provide your exhaustion can be very harmful. Here are some small, realistic steps to start improving your relationship with rest: 1. Notice early signals Pay attention to the first signs your body or mind needs a pause, such as fatigue, irritability, brain fog, or tension. You don’t have to wait until you are completely depleted to respond. 2. Stop before things are “done" Practice ending tasks while there’s still energy left, even if it feels unfinished. Rest doesn’t require everything to be checked off first. 3. Redefine what rest looks like Rest isn’t only sleep. It might be low-effort activities, comfort, or choosing something familiar or easy. 4. Practice permission without justification You don’t need to prove you’re tired enough or explain why you need a break. Try and offer yourself rest without defending it (to yourself or anyone else!) You are allowed to meet your needs without earning them first.  Transitions happen all day long—switching tasks, leaving the house, ending a conversation, starting the next thing on the to-do list. For many neurodivergent people, they can feel surprisingly difficult, not because of resistance or laziness, but because the brain is doing a lot of behind-the-scenes work. Here’s why transitions are so tough:
If transitions feel hard, there’s nothing “wrong” with you. Your brain simply has needs that deserve patience and support. When we understand why transitions are challenging, we can approach them with compassion instead of pressure.  Most of us weren’t taught how to say no without feeling guilty. We learned that being helpful and agreeable made us “good”, even if it meant ignoring our own limits. But the truth is, saying no is an essential form of self care.
Why does saying no matter?
Types of Boundaries: Knowing what you are saying no to can make things feel easier. A few to pay attention to:
How To Practice Saying No:
Saying no isn’t about shutting people out; it is not selfish. It is about respecting your limits so your yes can actually mean something!  For many, Thanksgiving is painted as a day of celebration—gratitude, connection, warmth, and tradition. But for others, it can bring a mix of emotions: pressure to feel thankful, complicated family dynamics, grief, loneliness, or discomfort with the holiday's historical context. If this time of year feels layered for you, you’re not alone.
This Thanksgiving, instead of pressuring yourself towards “big gratitude”, consider practicing the softer and more compassionate approach of gentle gratitude that honors your real-life experience and feelings. What is gentle gratitude? It is the practice of noticing what feels supportive, grounding, or comforting without forcing yourself to feel grateful for things that don’t resonate. It leaves room for heaviness and mixed emotions. Gentle Gratitude Phrases
How To Practice It
Whether your day is full, quiet, heavy, joyful, complicated, or something in between, you deserve moments of gentleness and peace. So when the “say something your grateful for” starts rounding the dinner table, let yourself choose something small, something honest, or even simply the truth that you’re doing your best.  This Thursday, November 20th, we pause to honor the transgender and gender-expansive individuals whose lives have been taken due to anti-trans violence. It is a day rooted in both grief and resilience—a moment to reflect on the reality that far too many in the community experience. Transgender Day of Remembrance (TDOR) is more than just a memorial; it is a call to collective responsibility.
TDOR was started in 1999 by transgender advocate Gwendolyn Ann Smith as a vigil to honor the memory of Rita Hester, a transgender woman who was killed in 1998. The vigil commemorated all of the transgender people lost to violence since Hester’s death, and has been an annual tradition since. How can you get involved?
For Those Mourning, Remembering, or Seeking Comfort:
Daisy Counseling’s Commitment:
As we honor those who are no longer with us, may we also hold hope for a future where trans lives are not just remembered, but celebrated, protected, and fully supported. May we show up with compassion, courage, and a commitment to creating safer communities. Read more here:https://glaad.org/tdor/  I went thrifting this weekend and came across this book—Feel It: 100 Ways to Live in the Moment. It tied in perfectly to this week’s topic so of course I bought it! Naturally, it talks a lot about existing in the present, otherwise known as mindfulness. Mindfulness has become this buzzword, showing up in products and trends more than day to day life. We immediately think of yoga classes and meditation Youtube channels. I have nothing against these forms of mindfulness, but for my ADHD brain, they just don’t work! So here is a list of some more neurodivergent-friendly options:
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